Just do it.

I am so annoyed. This has always been a huge pet peeve of mine and I am talking HUGE, bigger than Michael Jackson's plastic surgery count huge. I simply cannot stand when people leave their grocery carts in the middle of the parking lot. This has always bothered me as bad as that teenage boy I sat next to in fifth hour that never wore deodorant... and had gym fourth hour. They have conveniently placed cart returns every five stalls to solve this problem for you lazy people. But heaven forbid you have to take ten more steps. Are your legs broken? Didn't think so, because you just walked up and down all the walmart aisles for an hour looking for frosted animal crackers because YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE THEM! (Ok that was me) But whatever the case, you can do it, it is only ten extra feet of pushing. I hate when I am turning into a stall and there, standing like a deer in the headlights, is a poor lonely misplaced cart waiting to attack my car and carve profanities into my paint. So, I am going to start safety patrol in parking lots where I wear a neon vest and give anyone that doesn't put their cart away a flat tire. I am not talking about letting the air out kind of flat tire, I am talking about running over, stepping on the back of their shoe and then shoving them flat tire. After they step out of their shoe I will sprint with it to the nearest cart return and hold it for collateral until they manage to walk ten extra steps in one shoe to return their cart where it belongs. Then when they get there I will hit them over the head with their shoe and tell them that life could be harder and that THEY could have been in my fifth hour class with BO boy. What if they decide a shoe isn't worth it you ask? I have my Kart Krew begin to ram their car with carts until they raise the white flag and surrender.