As I run screaming.

So while you are all decked out in your green clothes, St. Patties day socks, and Clover head bobbles, I am hiding in my office and trying to avoid that annoying little thing known as pinching. I forgot it was St. Patrick's day. I usually don't dress up for holidays because I am a fun sucker. A sucker of fun ideas and fun celebrations that have to do with me walking around in a shirt that has some cheesy holiday saying on it. Unless it has "If you pinch me, I punch you" written in green sequins on the front, then I am totally not interested. Who even thought of the idea that it is ok to pinch someone for not wearing green? Do I punch people for not wearing pink? I mean, I totally give them props for thinking of something so stupid that is now a huge phenomenon but I blame them for all those days that I was tortured because my mom "forgot" to send me to school wearing green, and when I was caught I tried to use the excuse that I had green on my underwear, and then when I was pantsed (spelling?) to prove it, my secret was exposed that I wasn't a total tomboy because my panties had hearts! HEARTS! I know there are a few of you out there that are saying, "well yeah, if you did all those things to me like you did to your parents, I would send you in a shirt that said, 'give me a noogie because I am not wearing green' in ugly brown sequins" But its ok, so far today my avoidance of being pinched is simple, every time I pass someone, before they say anything I say "Green underwear." and it follows with a grown person kicking the wall because it was one less person they could pinch.