Mothers Day from Shelbie

Dear Mom,

Thanks for the dog treat this morning, I know you gave me an extra one but I was still hungry so I am sorry for eating more of your bar stool. Even though you lock me in the kitchen for eight hours every day I still love you because you buy me lots of toys to destroy and eat the cotton. I love you even more because when I throw up that cotton and try to clean it up by eating it again so you don't have you, you always chase me away and clean it up yourself. I will never forget that time that I threw up in yours and dad's bed after dad cleaned the sheets a whole week before and you had finally got off the couch to put them on the bed. That night was the best night of my life, having both of my parents squished in a little two foot space hugging me. Even though you torture me by putting bows in my hair I secretly like them because it gives Penny something else to rip out on top of my chest hair. I am sorry for all the whining I do when I want to go outside or upstairs to play with Paul and Penny, I am just trying to give you alone time before I shove myself to sleep in between you and dad so that you guys are always four feet apart, I bet dad is grateful anyway because between you and me, I have the better morning breath. I know I run away when you get the brush out and you end up having to chase me for five minutes before yelling for dad to catch me and bring me over but it is only because I am trying to avoid you having to vacuum it all up after you brush it out. With all the hair I shed, you and dad could make friendship bracelets... for the whole neighborhood. Love you and I am sorry for chewing up your purse (that dad hates).

Love,

Shelbie