Just My Luck

I have this awesome talent of killing things almost immediately after I get them. Mostly electronic things suffer at the grasp of my hands. On our way down to Lake Powell, we made a quick stop at the Beaver Chevron that has the GIANT chair out front. I went in to use their luxurious bathrooms (that was not sarcasm, they are hotel bathrooms inside of a gas station.) Well I had my digital camera strapped around my wrist so that I could try and force Nick to take a picture on the giant chair. I was nervous to take it into the bathroom knowing my history of electronics and water but there was just no time to waste. I go into my stall and carefully hang my purse up on the door hook, check my camera to make sure it is safely strapped and start to pull down my pants. In the process of this I hear something land in the toilet and automatically check the camera on my wrist. I turned to see what it was and there was my cell phone, in the mercy of the public bathroom toilet. To make matters worse it was an automatically flushing toilet and you know how unpredictable those are, you blink and they flush. So there I am, trying not to breathe or make any sudden movements but I knew I had to move fast or it would die by drowning. So there I am playing peek-a-boo with the toilet hoping that it doesn't swallow my phone whole. I reached in at the speed of lighting and yanked it out, so far it was safe. Now the only thing I had to hope for is that the water didn't fry its insides. Now my next dilemma, telling Nick. I have quite the record of killing phones by water so it was funny to me but I wasn't sure how it was going to be for Nick. Here is how it went down...

Me: Uhh, I sorta did something.

Nick: What? And do you want anything? We have to hurry.

Me: I uhh, I dropped my phone in the toilet. (Sad eyes looking totally sorry.)

Nick: Alright, are you going to get anything?

I guess this means he wasn't too concerned about it... Oh and I never got my picture on the big chair.

Oh good gracious

I have neglected my blog like that time I neglected our poor guinea pig for so long that flies took over his cage. It was so disturbing coming home to a ceiling covered in flies so I did what I knew how to do, scrame for my mom. She did the only thing she could think of and sucked them off the ceiling with the vacuum. My dreams were filled with nightmares of swarms of flies coming out of the vacuum at night and eating me alive. I just got back from an awesome vacation to Lake Powell with my family. This year was much better, I didn't get a single blister and Nick managed to avoid JD Perkins and his ticket writing need. I don't have the pictures to upload so I will do that tomorrow but I wanted to post a few things that I learned this trip.

One - Sunscreen really does work. After years and years of receiving a third degree burn the first day of Lake Powell, I decided to put some on. Heavenly. My legs did get burned but only 1/1000 of the usual. For a brief moment I considered getting SPF85 tattooed all the way around my ankle in thanks.

Two - Every family needs a chiropractor and a Dr. on hand during boating trips. Sitting in the front bow during a four hour sight seeing excursion really does a number on your spine. I think we all went into temporary spouts of paralysis. A doctor could also be useful for all those back breaking, head slamming, face kicking that goes on.

Three - When someone tells you to touch the window while passing a semi, don't do it. Why you ask? I will play it out for you.

Nick - When we pass this semi, put your hand on the window.

Me - Uh why?

Nick - Just do it.

Me - WHY?

Nick - You'll feel the pain. Hurry just do it!

Me - Okayyyy.

I hesitantly reach up and put my hand on the window expecting to feel a thousand watts of electricity to shoot through my body. We pass and nothing happens.

Nick - Did you feel it?

Me - No, what was I supposed to feel?

Nick - You didn't feel the window pane?

Liar liar.

Sorry. I said that I was going to post a Freaky Friday last Friday and I didn't. Apparently my work missed the memo requesting some time off through out the day to do nothing but inform the cyber world of mishaps and memories of my dysfunctional childhood. No worries though, I put in for a ten minute break labeled, outward release of happenings on the mind to free up space on the hard drive of my brain so that I can fill it with more useful things like, work memos and nursery rhymes I tweak with mine and Nick's name. I wont elaborate. Anyway the Freaky Friday I am going to post doesn't involve us destroying any part of my parents house or end with the cops saying they received a call from this number. It ends with a very upset pre-teen girl who just wanted to fit in.

Sarah always had her own agenda. She had her whole life planned out and was her own boss and ready to start traveling to New York on her own at the age of 3. I am pretty sure she could have figured out the subway quicker than anyone else then too. Well as she grew up, she had the misfortune of being the oldest. Therefore she was the "Test Child." The one that parents use trial and error with to find out what works, and where they should be more or less strict. One day Sarah decided that it was time to use her temporary tattoo. This wasn't a rose or a Chinese symbol of any sort, this was a Calvin Kline tattoo that probably came with her over sized white CK sweatshirt. She followed the proper instructions and ended up with a nice little tat. Well that didn't fly so well with father Brian. It was a time that he began to question what was next, a temporary tattoo of barbed wire, a magnetic earring in the nose, purple hair!? (The purple hair is another story for another day.) I am sure he sweat this more than anything else in his life at that point. Poor guy had no idea that one day when he took his wife on a nice vacation, his kids were at home seeing how many piercings they could fit on each ear with an un-sterile cork board pin.