22.

So I turned the big double 2 last Thursday (July 30) and I realized how old I was actually getting and that the more time that goes by, the less acceptable it is for me run screaming to something any time it has one of my favorite Care bears on it. I was asked quite a few times by people if I was sad because 21 was their favorite year of their life, but to be honest, I don't remember much of 20 or 21 sticking out and grabbing me, begging me to cling to that year for the rest of my life and bribing me with a thousand pans of brownies if I pick them. 20 and 21 were maturing years for me more than anything else I would say. But don't worry, I don't mean mature as in I will never quote "The Emperor's New Groove" again kind of way, but as in the making big decisions for myself and actually filling out a real check kind of way (Even though it took me two tries.) I have always coasted through life on my own planet, riding a saddled up toaster and expecting someone to always be there to make decisions and I would just follow their lead. As a matter of fact, I think the only decisions that I made up until recently were what shoes I was going to wear and what cereal I wanted for dinner and even that one is pushing it. But I have a feeling that 22 will be such a good year for me, lots of big decisions and even though some of them are so hard and stressful, in the end it is all worth it. I was very inspired the other day by an electronic billboard when I saw in neon green letters the words, "Living life in the fast lane?" and I thought to myself, yes right now I am, I am so busy I can't even remember the last time I forced Shelbie to wear a bow that matches mine. So I was very intrigued and begging for it to tell me the solution before I passed it, then it changes and says "Slow things down with an automatically closing toilet seat." So much for inspiration. Bet you can't guess what I asked for for my birthday.

Why I am so boring.

My blog has gotten no attention at all and this is actually really sad to me because I love writing stories on some random Internet page that anyone can read and say to themselves at the end of the day, wow I am so glad that my spouse is not like her. Well first I was super busy with real life stuff like color coordinating my headbands and making sure that Nick has the bills in check so I can buy some more so I had zero time to write and now I have absolutely nothing to write about because all I do is go to work and then come home and watch HGTV until it is time for bed. There is cereal crumbs and a permanent dent of my body on the couch where I have spent the past month doing nothing but watching hours and hours of House Hunters and yelling at the TV to let them know that anything can be painted over and a light fixture isn't permanent. I can't believe how productive my life is. But the other day Yahoo's front page had the best worst article I have ever seen. Here is my absolute favorite clip, I am going to vinyl this for my entry way.

"Last week, when President Obama threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the All-Star Game in St. Louis, he was probably more concerned with getting the ball over the plate than with his choice of attire. Call it a rookie mistake. The president's baggy pants were mocked as being... brace yourselves... "mom jeans." Now, the leader of the free world has responded to his fashion critics."

Because we all know that the most important thing that the president needs to be worrying about is his choice of jeans. I love the way that the author made sure that the readers were all braced to hear "mom jeans." Like when you read those two words, a fist would come out of your screen and punch you in the forehead. Why should America be worrying about all the small things like health care, the economy and soldiers when there are bigger things to worry about, like the Presidents jeans having a nine inch zipper and the fact that if he doesn't get the ball over the home plate he will be the next George Bush? The nerve of some people. Now I am really curious how he prefers his milk because if it is 2% I might have to move to Mexico.

*Sing Annoying Lagoon Theme Song Here*

My family just had a fun little day out at Lagoon last Friday. The two husbands didn't come up until about 6:30 so they are missing from a lot of the pictures... Plus, Nick tends to stay at least fifteen feet behind the nearest camera. Why? I have no idea. It doesn't help that my family is constantly taking pictures either. Remember back in April when my family minus Kyle took a trip to Cali? You know, the time when we bought every single picture possible from every theme park we went to? Well it just so happens that Lagoon has a photo place too and since Kyle was missing from all the Cali ones, my parents thought that they would pay for a nice family portrait to put in a five foot by seven foot frame over our fireplace. This one was the winner. It shows how are family puts the fun in dysfunctional.And this one came in a close second. Kyle and Nick were way into this if you couldn't tell. I think this was the most fun they had all day.Here are some other pictures from through out the day...On our way to Lagoooooooooooon in Madame Mim!
Laguna Beach :)

This was us all ready to go on the sky coaster. Sarah, Kyle and Mitch went together as well. Poor Nick wasn't feeling too well after drinking a huge icee and riding Wicked the brain scrambling ride after so I guess I will have to force him to go next time.

The most intense moment in my life (Minus the time that Gma D threatened to take Tasha to the pound when she was babysitting us) Beware when you are considering doing this, you are screaming/laughing so hard that you drool everywhere so I wouldn't recommend this for a first date...

What is so wrong about hiring a receptionist?

Okay something that has really bothered me ever since it came out. You would think after years it would be a little bit more advanced and accurate but it isn't. I am talking about automated phone answering systems. I hate when I call a place and a robot greets me and tells me that I have all these options and to say a word depending on which department I need. For example, I called Sears to ask them about a replacement cabinet and after it goes through about ten options it says to me, "for repairs, scheduling repairs, or inquiry on a warranty, say repairs." I say repairs and the stupid thing says, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand you," then says the lists all over again so I say repair again but a little bit more annoyed, and apparently if you say it in an emotion other than how she says it or you speak in a voice lower than hers, she doesn't understand. So I mimic her voice and she says, "You have requested repairs is this correct? Say yes or no." I say yes and she comes back with this, "Okay I am sorry, I will redirect you back to the main options." THEN STARTS FROM THE BEGINNING. Since when do yes and no sound the same? (besides when we would ask father Brian if we could take his truck for a spin... sorry dad.) After that I started asking her for a bologna sandwich, gluten free pizza and the best of's Olivia Newton John CD, but she didn't understand because she sent me to gardening. Is having an actual breathing person to answer your phone such a problem? Because from now on when an automated machine comes on, I am going to hang up and call someone else UNLESS the first option is "If you would like to be directed to an actual person and not my annoying self, please say real person in any voice or tone you would like." But knowing my luck, I would say real person only for her to reply with "suck it." and then a disconnection.

Since We Are Half Way Through

I realized that we are halfway through the year and this totally took me by surprise because it seems like just yesterday I was crying my eyes out at turning the old disgusting age of 21 while scooping the icing off my My Little Pony cake with my finger and eating it. Here is to hoping that this birthday can be a lot better than the last. Since I noticed that we are halfway through I wondered what I had wrote my New Years Resolutions were and if I had completed even one so I am going to fill you all in on where I am at with them.

One, I will not, absolutely not, meet my medical deductible this year. So far I believe that I have done a very good job with this one. I am over half way to meeting but you can blame that on ecoli.

Two, I will learn how to make at least 5 edible, healthy meals for Nick and I (Nothing will include nasty broccoli, it kills braincells you know.) I don't even know if I have cooked ONE edible, healthy meal. Nick basically cooks his own dinner every night and I pour me a nice big bowl of rice crispies. I would say I am the best wife, no questions asked.

Three, I will actually attempt *don't laugh* to train for a half marathon with Sarah and my mom. I actually said that? You can go ahead and laugh now, I know I am. No I actually started up Slim in 6 and went to the gym once with Sarah. I ran about six miles on the treadmill which ended in my hobbling around for weeks, taking a half an hour to walk down a flight of stairs, and swearing off any type of physical activity.

Four, I will finish my wedding scrapbook that has collected five inches of dust. That number has just been bumped up to about eight...

Five, I will dust my house. I actually think I did this once or twice, I don't remember because it was probably at eleven o clock at night when Nick decided since we bought a new vacuum we should clean the house entirely.

Six, I will successfully make a batch of cookies where I don't have to blog about the horrors of it all. Finally, something I have accomplished... somewhat. I made no bake cookies and didn't blog about it because when I took a piece out of the pan to eat, the four thousand degree chocolate burned my fingertips so bad I couldn't type.

Seven, I will be a better wife to my husband and do my best at not publicly humiliating him at times when I am experiencing giant urges to dance in the car. This one was a big giant fail. Better wife, mostly. Not publicly humiliating him, impossible.

Eight, actually remembering that I wrote these. It took me six months to remember but I am still counting it. I should have added a ninth that said "Actually doing them."

Since when is busy a word in my life?

I have been so busy lately! It is so weird to do something other than waking up, going to work and then coming home and watching hours of Hannah Montana or Parental Control. My house has turned into a disaster for real, the fish tank needs help, I have thirty pairs of shoes on the floor and massive amounts of clothes in every corner. Of course nothing of Nicks is sitting out besides the dishes he ate on and DIDN'T rinse off. But what is more fun then A-smelling the nasty old food and B- getting the pleasure of scraping it off the plate with a box cutter? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I have been trying not to vent on my blog or talk about how much I hate things or how I have threatened someones life at the grocery store for leaving their cart in the lot while I was looking BUT this is it, something has just driven me over the edge. Someone near my office has fruit somewhere because while I am trying to do my job... and blog... I am being pestered by fruit flies. What is worse than a fruit fly? TWO. They just taunt me by flying within two inches of my face and they just go back and forth then back and forth again. I am sure that after every safe pass they make they high five, snicker and offer the other another round of banana beer if they do it again. Well I hope the thought of that banana beer was worth it because on the last pass I got him with a two inch folder and haven't seen his friend since.