I Need a Medicine Man

So... Does anyone have any home remedies for a sinus infection? Besides that weird Neddie pot or whatever it is called because Sarah used one of those and acted like a blow torch was shoved up her nose and turned on full blast. And can someone answer me why your teeth feel like you have been chewing on rocks all day when you have one? The doctor was trying to explain it to me but my eardrums felt like they were going to burst so I was cupping my hands over my ears to silence all noise. They come on so sneakily too, one minute I was saying that my cheekbone felt bruised and the next minute I feel like a giant salami hit me in the face. I have had surgery TWICE before to fix this but apparently my nose is setting wrong? And having it done again is definitely not an option for me at this time. Or ever again for that matter. I would rather be forced to watch an entire program of the Wiggles than go through those five days of darkness so help me out. Oh and I would also like to fix it so that I don't need to return to the doctor to have this happen again...

Look closely... did you notice what is wrong with this picture. Yes, me and that man had the same shoes. But on a happier note, meet Chalese, my new office pet.

Kill.Them.All.

Question, have you ever seen a june bug? Question number two, did it put you into cardiac arrest? I was babysitting Paul and Penny (Sarah and Kyles doxies) the other day when Penny started dry heaving. I ran to the back door and started making all kinds of high pitch noises to get her attention because nothing brings that dog running like a high pitched squeal that sounds like one of those fireworks that are so high pitched they burst your eardrums and you spend weeks watching your TV with captions. So there I am slapping my legs and trying to get my voice to go higher and higher until all the sudden I burst my own eardrums and here she comes running. Just when I thought she was going to make it, she threw up but kept running outside where my annoying squeal was echoing off the mountains. I go and grab the 409, a rag and a plastic bag to clean it up with and Nick comes over and offers to help. I hand him the garbage bag and right as he goes to step outside, he decides to run the other way like someone was screaming FREE IRONING BOARDS FOR LIFE! in the spare bedroom (another story for another day) and before I could finish my sentence of "What the...." I hear a helicopter coming straight for my back door and behind me Nick is yelling for me to SHUT THE DOOR! Well, I was too late and that june bug flew right in like a rabid bat. In fact, the whole time it was flying around my kitchen and Nick and I were running down the hall I kept screaming "What is that thing!? WHAT IS THAT THING!? IS THAT A BABY BAT?!" After Nick could breathe he filled me in that it is a june bug. I crept back down the hallway to see if it really was a baby bat or not and I see the bugs creepy little self stuck on his back with his feet almost hitting my ceiling. He was just that big. I charged like a viking after a piece of meat and kept spraying that 409 bottle at him until my hand could squeeze no more. I thought defeat but then Nick informed me from around the corner that they play dead. Yeah totally freaky right? So I blow on it, because that is how I test the spiders life status in my house, and it doesn't move. After a ten minute argument of who gets to dispose of it, I decide to just fling it with my broom out the back door, screaming the whole time. I thought that was my first and last time to see one of those, but just last night there were three more flying around probably trying to launch an attack on us. Until I am sure they are gone, I am arming myself with a shotgun and mace.