A Couple Things I Have Learned Today

1- I do not have very much upper body strength (Minus the weirdness that is my right bicep.) Try setting all of the weight machine limits to the lowest of ten (on the left side) and one hundred on your right, I struggled with the left while most people would have punched a hole through the ceiling it is so light. After finishing up, I felt like I was a head, and feet. No body in between. When I attempted to wash my hair, I most likely resembled a humble little squirrel with the way I was ducking down and pawing at my head. Drying my hair is impossible after weight lifting, and getting dressed is even worse. So besides feeling like I bench pressed Kirstie Alley all day, had my abs shredded by a cheese grater, and like a steam roller went directly over my legs, I feel great.

2- Trail mix would taste so much better if it was just M&M's. If I am feeling a little generous I would say to add some raisins in. The nuts have got to go, unless they are inside the M&M's.

3- I don't even have to work out to get the butt everyone dreams of. Problem solved with the booty pop.

Reminder To Self

This morning was the first of many miserable mornings to come. I woke up at 5:30 to go to the gym with Nick. We have already started off bad with the 5:30 part, it is like trying to wake up a five hundred pound walrus that has been hibernating for a thousand years. As I was walking up the stairs to work, my eyes were spilling over from the pain and when someone asked if I was ok, I quickly covered it up with "I'm feeling the Christmas spirit," because if I had told them that I worked out for approximately a half hour, he would have laughed and pushed me down the stairs. I remembered that I had once blogged of a previous work out conquest and thought I would go back and re-read it. After reading it again, I believe that the only way you could convince me to work out is if I am rewarded with a chocolate cake the size of Mount Kilimanjaro at the end...

(Re-Post)
So everyone is well aware of my husbands undying need to exercise 25 hours a day. I really appreciate this for the most part because it is nice knowing that I wont have to outlive him and be the lonely cat lady that lives off of easy mac and cereal and crochets booties for the gnomes on my front lawn. However, it is bad because after I have three children and eat my life away only feeding on Starbursts, Oreos and Cookie Crisp cereal, people will begin to ask my husband, who looks like he belongs on baywatch, how long he is planning on living with his mother. That is when I use a new weight loss method by turning on Michael Bolton, and spin with my forehead on a bat until I puke. This has gone on way to long... After seeing what my future would hold if I didn't do something about my unhealthy diet, I have decided to do something about it so that I can keep fit with Nick. I figure if I publicly mention it, I might actually stick to it. Anyway I have been trying a little bit at a time up to now, I went running with Sarah a couple times, I gave up when she mentioned that tomorrow we would run 100 times around the track instead of 2, I need stuff like Turbo Jam to keep me entertained. I wanted to tell you all a story about the last time I went out for a little exercise...

It was a nice day out, not too hot. Sarah was running from our house in Sandy to my parents... that is approximately 6.3 miles. If you know me, that translates into; a collapsed lung, a shattered knee cap, and a severed right foot. So I opted for the easy aka beach cruiser. So while Sarah ran, I cruised next to her. At one point I thought it would be really fun to ride in the bike lane, the next thing I know I get passed by a serious biker in ugly spandex shaking his fist and yelling obscenities in German. I didn't realize that you had to be going 40MPH to be in that thing. So I got onto the sidewalk and drafted off of Sarah for a while, I might have skinned her ankles a little... sorry Sar. About 3 miles later we came upon Mt. Everest of 9800 South. Sarah gave me the coaching instructions of "right when the light turns green, peddle as fast as you can down the hill." Obviously we both thought that would give me enough push to get back up to the top. So once the light turned, I was off. I was going so fast down the hill that my feet couldn't keep up because I was in 1st gear. Well that pushed me about 10 feet up the hill so I peddled my little heart out to the Rocky soundtrack on my ipod. I was in the zone, then my muscles separated from my body and ran away screeching into the bushes because I kid you not, I started going backwards. So I hoped off of my bike and decided to walk it up. Humiliating. I was stopped twice by bikers wondering if I had a flat. I replied, no I just promised I would take my bike on a walk today, she has been in the garage for a while. When I got to the top I went into cardiac arrest and immediately pondered how I was going to carry Sarah's lifeless body up the hill. Pacing back and forth did no good because I was again questioned by an entourage of bikers. So I peddled up and down the street then thought, I better go make sure the ants haven't carried her off yet. Then, like it does in the movies, she started to appear above the horizon of asphalt like a sunset. AHH she is alive, breathing, moving! So we continued on to the destination. So while we went the rest of the way, I started noticing everyone looking like, "Ok bike rider, why don't you stop being lazy and jog like her." I looked back at them like, "because whenever I jog, a small piece of me dies and I am slammed with a stack of hospital bills." An hour and a half later... we made it. Mission accomplished. How Nick exercises every day and how Sarah runs, I will never know. But I will try my hand at the exercise and if you never receive a post from me again, ask Nick about my funeral.

Happy Two to the Three Nicholas

It is Nick's 23rd birthday today. It is crazy how fast the last year has gone, I remember writing his twenty second birthday post like it was yesterday, but yesterday I was actually out shopping for his birthday presents because that is how I am. I am an overachiever and don't procrastinate until his birthday to buy them. So here it goes, 23 weird things about Nick.

1- He has an amazing shower voice and could probably compose an opera every morning if either of us were smart enough to write the music.

2- He watches HGTV because he chooses to, not because I ask him to.

3- He stays with me even though he wakes up to a wet haystack for a wife every morning. He always smiles when he sees what I look like and on certain occasions tries to take a picture.

4- He is good at EVERYTHING. Besides Rock Band, I have yet to find something he can't do. I only say he can't because since he couldn't do it on the first try like everything else, he stopped playing.

5- He would eat frozen burritos for every meal and not complain about it.

6- He has the cutest high pitched voice that he uses to get Shelbie to come in. I can here it now, "Come on buddy! Come on!"

7- He has an amazing ability to tell when something on the wall is the slightest bit crooked or off... No joke, I swear he can sense an eight of an inch. Now I measure one hundred and one times instead of just one hundred.

8- He is obsessed with the ring tone on his cellphone and even made me call him once so he could hear it.

9- He could win an ironing competition with his beautiful ironing work. His ability to spot a wrinkle is impressive.

10- He lint rolls the bathroom floor a few times a week after he lint rolls his clothes. I am assuming that it is my hair because I shed more than Shelbie.

11- If his trouser socks are the exact same and both black but one is a little bit more faded than the other, he wont wear them. They must find their perfect match.

12- He loves to go to the store with people when they make a big purchase and occasionally is the person that talks them into making the big purchase.

13- He can make up a silly song on the spot. Hidden talent people.

14- If Shelbie could be with Nick all day she would. Nick knows it, and loves it, but will never say anything about it to me because he knows I am jealous.

15- If you challenge Nick at a handstand competition, you will lose.

16- Nick liked the movie Twilight more than New Moon.

17- Nick brushes his teeth so much, he goes through tooth brushes like me and gluten free donuts.

18- Nick vacuums the house two times a week on average.

19- Nick has an amazing memory. To test this theory I just had a crazy idea to play him at that kids game Memory, he would probably dominate.

20- Nick can resist just about any goodie you put in front of him. His weakness, cookies and cream.

21- Nick can eat more than a 600 pound man but can maintain his physique because of his crazy dedication to working out.

22- Nick has at least five random outbursts a day of a random song or dance, usually about Xbox or the Utah Jazz.

23- Nick's hair is always perfect and he trusts me to cut it. He still has his head and allows me to cut it so I must be doing something right.

Happy birthday Nick, love you trungle donut sprinkle wheel with carmel! I snapped this picture of him and Shelbie and I love it. Two little buddies :)

Thievery

When I didn't want to blog about the things I have to blog about because the usual stretched truth might turn into something stretched so far that the National Enquirer beats down my door asking about Shelbie and her ability to speak ten sentences in pig Latin, I decided to steal a quick blogging idea off of Megan and BreeAnn's blog. It is a list of 100 things that one loves so I give you 25 things that I love in no particular order because 100 is just too many for me to think about...

1- Nick. Always surprising me lately and I love it. And he plays a mean Joseph if anyone would like to borrow him for your ward's nativity.

2- Shelbie Patricia Dawn Scooter Boots with the Fur Sprinkle Bottom Baggy Sweat Pants Reebok's with the Straps Toaster Strudel Dragon Chest Friendship Head Chocolate Pudding Cup Graham Cracker Skeeter Scooter Bear... Fankhauser.

3- New socks. I would almost do anything for new socks, even eat a plate of broccoli and iron my clothes.

4- Chapstick. Couldn't live without it. Literally. I tried and my lips all but fell off.

5- My pink Christmas tree. It helps get me excited for Christmas before December 24th.

6- My Dad and all of his silly little sounds and dad humor jokes. Also, that he quotes inappropriate lines from the Nutty Professor and Throw Mama From the Train at random times.

7- My Mom and all of her generosity. Also, she is always up for doing things that us kids come up with, except for the time Mitchell tried to convince her to go for a ride in the garbage can.


8- New shoes. There is just something about having yet another pair of shoes to lay around the house and trip over that I love. (If Nick had a dislike list, this would be almost at the top. It would sit under "When Amanda doesn't clean off the stove.")


9- My sisters and sister-in-laws. They are all so different and I love that, our family has such a wide range of personality, talent and humor. My sisters are always so much fun.


10- My brother and brother-in-laws. I just saw a photo album of Mitch on facebook that had him in his white undershirt and a pair of one of his girlfriends zebra striped spankies. I laughed after I threw up.


11- The movie The Labyrinth. No explanation needed.


12- When I go a day without completely smashing some part of my body on a railing, door frame or random object reaching out to grab me. These days are rare.


13- Pumpkin pie. My mouth is watering at the thought of it. Up until I was 12, I only ate chocolate satin pie because everything else looked repulsive. I remember thinking how gross pumpkin pie sounded but once I tasted it, by force, I couldn't get enough.


14- Cereal. There is nothing better than a bowl full of cereal. Maybe a bowl full of Winger's sticky fingers, but not likely.


15- Singing as loudly and annoyingly as I want in the car while dancing around so terribly that everyone stares. Nick might think he has seen it all but he hasn't. I wouldn't embarrass him like that. Just imagine a fish being tased while trying to drive the car.

16- Harmon's Grocery store. I no longer feel like I am in the Grocery Cart Indie 500 and everyone is throwing elbows and trampling me after I try to help up a set of triplets and their grandma after I so rudely ran them over when I was rear-ended by an aggressive child driven cart.

17- Bubble gum, I am a sucker for tasty gum.

18- Making music videos. Especially when they include Mitchell in drag doing a mean Lady Gaga.

19- Dipping a junior bacon cheeseburger in my frosty because it makes eating it without the bun that much better.

20- Being able to run more than one lap around the track. I used to run around once, lay on the ground, put up a speed bump sign and die.

21- My mother-in-law and her gift of making the most delicious cinnamon rolls in the universe.

22- My father-in-law and his patience to cut thousands of wood blocks so that his daughters can craft. Also, his talent of installing a water softener so that his sad dry skinned flake of a daughter in law no longer has to peel away into a pile of whiny dry skin cells.

23- A water softener. See above. Without a water softener it is like someone hooks up a vacuum that molds to my body and sucks ever drop of moisture right out before stomping on my toe and telling me to catch it if I can.

24- Pens that don't die on me in the middle of filling out a bank drive through slip. Also, days that I remember to put the little transporter tube back in the slot where it belongs. There is nothing worse than being late, two blocks away from the bank and realizing that tube number five is sitting nice and cozy in your passenger seat. Oh wait there is, it is the moment when you have to walk into the bank and give it back.

25- Having the life I have.

You Rotten Kids

Unfortunately my mom forgot to log off her facebook account, and unfortunatley we discovered that. For some reason there is just something irresistable about not logging off and CTR'ing. So we did a few innocent things like changing her status and commenting on some photos... oh and we also created a group about parents spying through facebook. Moral of the story parents, ALWAYS log off because you guys aren't the only ones running directly to the computer after your child is on facebook and hoping that someone is still logged on.