Somehow the Word Idiot Doesn't Cover It

Mitchell and I went out shopping last week and bonded over Tai Pan soup bowls and honestly the most lame vanity plates we have ever seen. Ever going on a vanity plate scavenger hunt? Go to Tai Pan, it is the parking lot of vanity plates and escalades parked on snowbanks because they can. On the way back we laughed, sang and talked about how much we hate the weather. Upon turning into my parents neighborhood, we were met with about three inches of ice with a little layer of snow on top. My parents have a curve in the road that is about 90 degrees and typically when you go around it you can spin your back tires a little bit and fishtale for some fun. (This is how you have fun in Utah and everyone knows it so keep that in mind before you judge me.) Well I decided that I was going to do that however it was completely unsuccessful, like most of my diet plans. I flew straight forward like my tires were on the asphalt and no snow at all. I saw a brick fence and a light post right in front of me and I was quickly trying to decide which I would rather hit. We flew up over the curb and somehow miraculously wedged right in between the two which meant that somehow my car hit the sidewalk and did an 80 degree turn and ended up on the neighbors grass/sidewalk. There were no centimeters to spare on either side. I don't think I could drive through that going 2 mph intentionally trying to get through it. Observe for yourself and let this be a lesson to everyone to make sure there isn't a brick fence staring you in the face when you decide to be reckless.