New Blog For All You Gluten Free Followers!

I was starting to get some fellow celiac followers on here, which is fine with me, however I thought it would be so much more fun if I had a gluten free blog (found here) so I don't have to bombard everyone with my gluten free recipes and dramas of trying to substitute flours and such. I have decided it would be so much more fun if I dragged the husband into the middle of it so that there is an honest opinion from someone that's taste buds have seen the likes of gluten recently. I know that it is rare for both partners to have this problem and it is no fun cooking two separate meals so Nick and I, mostly his poor taste buds and I, are on a quest to find the best of the best to ease the pain and frustration of trying to find a compromising meal. In other words, if I wasn't forcing this on Nick he would be eating his usual sandwich, frozen pizza or burrito for dinner every night and I would sit happily over a bowl of gluten free chex. I will still be posting on this blog just like I do now, I will just be throwing out recipes and tales of failure and success of g-free cooking elsewhere. A lot of the recipes are converted to be g-free so everyone else feel free to stop by and find something for you too!

Surprise Cake!

I keep meaning to post this but all these other things I have to complain about keep getting in the way. If you are wondering, I am still dreaming about having a mixer. I need one. NEED. Anyway, back to the cake. My mom loves rainbows, as do I. My grandma Sorensen always makes this amazing rainbow jello that takes hours and looks so awesome when it is finished, I have always loved it. As a matter of fact, I wasn't a huge fan of jello until grandma's rainbow jello. In November, I stumbled upon a website with a rainbow layered cake. Watterfalls of drool poured from my mouth as I tried to come up with a reason to make this. I knew better than to make it for Nick's birthday. I instantly thought of my mom but could hardly stand to wait that long to try it, but I did. I had to recruit a set of extra hands and of course it would be the Ace of Cakes, Alisha. We went and picked up all the ingredients the night before my mom's birthday, which happened to be a Saturday night. We did all sorts of things wrong so I will just start from the beginning, which happened to be at the convenient time of 10 PM. First we mixed all the cake mix together and separated it into six different bowls, then we colored each cake mix until we got the perfect colors. The purple somehow got cut off from the picture. How could I? Once we did this, we were ready to bake! How easy I thought... First problem, I only bought one round cake pan to make a "supposed to be six" layered cake, making it so that we could only cook one layer at a time. I banged my head twice on the granite counter top. Oh well, in went the first layer. We decided to play some guitar in between layers so we weren't just sitting there drooling over bowls full of colorful cake mix. The red layer was complete so we popped it out and poured in the orange mix, here is the second mistake, we forgot to spray the pan... twenty minutes later when we went to pop it out, half fell out and the other half crumbled into a sad heap on the plate. I slammed my head in the oven door. Here is the third mistake, I was so mad that I decided we should eat all the orange cake since we couldn't just throw it away. The flour in my stomach reacted like a monkey banging cymbals while rollerblading to Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby. We continued on with the rest of the colors flawlessly. I figured the hard part was over once we had them all finished and in the refrigerator for the night. It was a little after 2 AM so we had to call it quits. I have the dreaded late church so that gave us plenty of time to frost the cake in the morning, so I thought... We had frosted in between all of the layers without very many crumbles to spoil the surprise, I had gone around the outside and the top and we were beaming at the sight of the finished product. I was going around the cake and giving it a little texture and just when I did the very last swirl... the cake tipped over off the cake stand and went rolling across the table. Yes, I did cuss. Loudly. Lucky for us, none of the cake broke so I picked it up and put it back on the plate and off we went to break the sabbath for three more tubs of frosting. I think this was justifiable, don't judge me. This is my mother's birthday cake we are talking about. After we got back, I frosted it even more carefully and threatened anyone that even thought of breathing within twenty feet of the cake. It was finished, finally. Transporting the cake was horrifying but we made it, and it paid off. My mom had no idea and that in itself was worth it.

...

There just isn't a title for this post. My Nick who used to never ever drink soda now occasionally drinks soda when I tempt him. It all started when we were on the airplane to California for our honeymoon. He asked the flight attendant for a Coke, I swear my eyes fell out of my head and the attendant asked if she could put them in my carry on. His reasoning is that airplanes make him sick and the Coke would help. I, being the nice wife, let it slide. How come I can drink gallons of soda in any way shape or form and he can't? Because, Nick doesn't sit in the same bracket us people that can't control ourselves do. Nick is in his own bracket titled the 'I can restrain myself from ingesting anything if I want bracket.' I know I have mentioned before about him being vegetarian because he wanted, not eating any of my sweets because he wanted and NOT DRINKING ANY SODA BECAUSE HE WANTED. Are you all jealous? I know I am. After much reflection I realized that these things could be the reason why over the three years we have been married his medical expenses have been sitting at a constant zero dollars. Well I decided that I was going to stop drinking soda because it was becoming a need, not just a want. I got to the point where every time I drove past del taco I just had to stop for a cherry coke because they have the best cherry coke. So there, I am just going to stop drinking soda cold turkey because I say so. It works for Nick so I will make sure it works for me. Oh and you know what else, this makes me feel better... yesterday Nick ate peanut butter chocolate kiss cookies so he does crack on occasion. This is how it all went down...

Scene: We just walked into my parents house

Me: I halt to a dead stop like I just slammed into a cinder block wall... "Oh.my.gosh. I smell peanut butter, in that kitchen there is peanut butter cookies." My head hangs low.

Nick: "What? No, I don't smell anything."

Me: "Yes Nick I swear to you there is peanut butter something in there. Either peanut butter no bakes or just peanut butter cookies."

The debate continues until we walk in and see that I am indeed correct.

Shanna: "Have a cookie Nick."

Nick: "No Thank you."

I was so so impressed because I know that Nick loves peanut butter cookies.

5 minutes later...

Nick: "Ok, I will eat just one for Amanda."

10 minutes later he has consumed more cookies than just one. If anyone ever wants to get past Nick, make him peanut butter cookies.

Good Riddance

Today is the last full day that I will spend with this awful front tooth. It has been with me through so many memories and will I miss it? Hmmm, no. Ok, maybe a little because I am a terribly sentimental person and I keep everything and anything that has a story tied to it. From a plastic pink lemonade bottle all the way down to a single gum wrapper at one point in my life. I eventually got rid of the lemonade bottle but they sat on my shelf for quite some time. It wasn't that bad getting rid of that because the story didn't mean too much to me anymore but I will hold on to that gum wrapper because it will always remind me of dating Nick and arguing over sluffing weights because I just really didn't want to go. I was such a bad influence... The straight A student meets the average C, fortunately my grades went up and his stayed the same. My "strong tooth," as someone once called it, could possibly be missed. Will I keep it if they ask if I want too? Creepy, but maybe. It might end up in the top ten strangest things I have in my special book. It might even top the list... I'll let you decide.

In no particular order

1- A pill cam from a test that is supposed to track your digestion and take pictures all along the way to make sure you are functioning as you should, well we all know I don't and that little pill of technology that cost an entire paycheck got stuck in my stomach and had to be thrown up. Results of the test are obviously pending, I don't think I will ever try this again.

2- A broken heart pendant from a necklace that cost about $2.00. Nick and I were on one of our first dates downtown and running across the street when the pendant fell off and broke. I stopped in the middle of downtown traffic to pick it up. I have had it ever since.

3- A plastic one cent giraffe straw that I won from arcade tickets and gave to Nick so technically this should go in his book but we all know how much he loves clutter and useless junk :)

4- A plastic baggy with a couple of Shelbie's puppy teeth. This freaks me out to even type this because that is really weird. Maybe I could start a tooth collection. Just call me the tooth fairy.

5- A picture made in the middle of a downpour when I was about 10. I put my paper on the wet sidewalk and waited until it was soaked, then drew on it with chalk. I picked it up carefully and carried it inside where it took a couple days to dry.

6- A broken flower beaded necklace and turquoise frog earring from the first year our family started the yearly trips to Lake Powell. When jumping on the tramp I lost the other earring so I put the one in my special book so when I went back I could get another. I know that earrings come in pairs but I said that I would keep the old and get rid of one of the new. Told you I was weirdly sentimental.

7- A rusty washer found on the construction sight while building our house.

8- A drawing I did of a lion in colored pencil when I was 7 that I thought was the best drawing ever.

9- Pipe cleaner figurines I did of Nick and I while sitting at my kitchen table at home when we were dating. They sat on top of my bed until I got married and have been in my special book since.

10- 50 or so hospital bands. I keep every single one. Nick never understood it, neither do I, but I keep them anyway.

What's the weirdest thing you have?

Houston, We Have a Problem

Big problem, MASSIVE problem. I am going to clear this up right now before I write the next sentence and everyone blows up my phone with texts and calls, I am NOT pregnant. However, I am craving and dreaming about food like a pregnant woman. I am on this cleanse/weed out your allergies/ diet thing and it is kicking my butt. It is harder for most people because you have to go without breads and grains for six weeks but luckily I am used to that part so that tips success a little bit more in my favor. However this tips it back so far it does a complete circle and lands back on the fail side, no sugar or dairy for eight weeks. EIGHT WEEKS. That knocks out the two meals of cereal I eat every day. I have been ok so far, I have only had to pop one vile of Zip Fizz to get me back on my feet. My body isn't used to a lack of sugar in the slightest bit. I will tell you however I feel much better. I sleep through the whole night and wake up pretty refreshed and ready to go. That in itself is worth it. Anyway, that isn't what this post is about, it is about the fact that I have gone from not caring much for food, to cooking a little bit, to dying to cook and obsessing over gluten free recipes that I can't wait to try. Obsessed I am telling you. I have already compiled a word document full of breads, crackers, dinners, lunches, breakfasts and most importantly, desserts and it is burning a hole in my computer and all but printing itself, begging to be used. I am counting down the weeks until the diet ends and I can attempt these things. However, I ran into another problem/obsession, I am now obsessed with the thought of owning a mixer since to make a successful loaf of bread, that doesn't taste like a kitchen sponge, you need one. Until I get one I am going to be dreaming about a mixer serenading a box of donuts in a window balcony while I shed a tear from the box I reserved to the Opera called "Crumbdonio and Wheatbreadet."

Happy Birthday Baby Sister

Today is my baby sisters birthday. Most people know her by the name that is printed on her birth certificate but to me she is "Squid." Why squid? I don't know, it just had a nice ring to it. Squid is such an amazing little musician and artist it is hard to believe she is only 15. She wanted a guitar so bad so my parents bought her the learning musician (piece of wood with strings) from Target and told her that if she wrote some of her own songs by Christmas, they would buy her a new one. She not only wrote a couple, I believe she wrote around 13. She is such a natural and has the most beautiful strong voice, next time you see her with her guitar in tow, remember to ask to hear a song. Squid and I have lots of fun together and love to get together and "jam" on our guitars and I love that. So here are 15 little interesting facts about her...

1- From age 1-3 she believed she was a lion... Scar from Lion King to be exact. She would hide under the table in nursery, clawing and growling at helpless toddlers saying, "Me am Scaw (Scar)."

2- From age 3- hmm 11 she believed she was a horse, she had a beautiful trot and canter. It was so funny to see her on her hands and knees trotting around the living room.

3- She would always come up with the funniest facial expressions/phrases, like this one, "eat your heart out paper boy."

4- She drew/draws so many horse pictures, she could wall paper the white house.

5- When she laughs, she wheezes like an old man. The only way to describe it is a silent cackle.

6- She makes a mean peanut butter and chocolate chip soup in the microwave.

7- She is an ace of cakes. We stayed up until 2 AM making my mom's special bday cake and she had done such a good job before my idioticness destroyed it the next morning (post coming soon.)

8- She is a very good writer. Her small little stories that she began writing years ago surpass regular children's.

9- She is musically talented, her amazing piano skills, guitar skills and singing skills are all self taught.

10- She has a very contagious smile, and can hunt out the best commercials/YouTube videos.

11- She is also a softball player and this is a direct quote from her after hitting a home run, "Can't I just wave to the crowd and sit down? It isn't fair I have to run all the way around the bases."

12- She and I spent two hours doing nothing but making stupid cell phone videos and sending them to Mitchell after eating an entire asphalt pie. My kind of sleepover.

13- She has seen Spirit, Stallion of the Cimmaron more times than the video editors.

14- She has seen Phantom of the Opera more times than the video editors.

15- She would probably stake outside of Edward Cullen's house until she died if he were real.

Love you Squid! Squidly! Squidiot!

Super Husband

The longer I am married to Nick, the more I realize how good I have it. Last night I called Nick to see if he would like to accompany me to the grocery store and he was tired so I decided I would be brave and go it alone. Why is this bravery? Because I wasn't just buying two or three things that are clearly labeled. I was buying produce. This requires me to venture into more than two isles and I am getting anxiety thinking about it. Not only do I have to go on a mad hunt for things, I am talking about you stupid salad supreme, I have to actually pick my own produce. You all just rolled your eyes and vowed to throw a tomato at me next time you see me but you don't understand. On top of the fact that I never eat the stuff, Nick worked in produce and can pick you the best produce out of a pile of trash. He could win a gold medal if it was an Olympic sport. It took me a good hour to pick out the five produce items I needed and I will not name them for the sake of everyones last straw that is sure to be broken if you know the lameness that is my dillema. So what should have been a simple half hour trip to the store for a normal person, and a ten minute trip for Nick, was an hour+ of agony and rolling my ankle over with the cart when I realized it was easier to pull it backwards than to continue turning the cart around and going back and forth again because I couldn't spot the romaine. This just became another reason why I absolutely have to keep Nick around. Here is some of my list so far...


-Nick, unlike most men, includes vacuuming in his hobbies. He loves it.

-Nick not only loves his clothes to be freshly ironed, he irons his own. That is right ladies, read it and weep. The only time I touch an iron is on Sundays if I absolutely have to.

-Nick is super clean, he could be home all day while I am at work and I would never know it. He leaves everything looking untouched, unused and sparkly clean. (On a side note, Nick is so stealthy he doesn't even move dust particles in his path. It is a big joke in the family, he is always disappearing and reappearing like his existence is hooked to a strobe light.)

-Nick takes care of all the finances and pays the bills. Need I say more.

-Nick always does the grocery shopping (Except for in cases like last night. Number of times I have been grocery shopping by myself, 2.)

-Nick says stuff like this, "I wish you wouldn't cook at all. It tastes good, you just make a mess."

A Letter To The Tooth Fairy

Dear tooth fairy,
Remember that summer, the summer of '02, when my tooth had a run in with some trouble? No? Ok let me remind you. For sympathy purposes keep in mind that this was the summer before high school, I believe it was the Saturday before I started school to be exact. I was good all summer long, only took about 4 hits to the face via softball and 1 hit to the face via Shanna. I managed to avoid permanent damage both times and went to bed smiling and you were up in tooth heaven or wherever you were (most likely the room below me) wiping the sweat off your brow and fist bumping your husband. On that fateful last day of Summer before my life ended and I began high school I decided to go out bowling with some friends. I can't even tell you how many times I have been bowling but I can tell you that the only bad thing that had ever happened to me up until that point was stepping over the line into the lane grease and tearing my groin muscle all while having the wind knocked out of me. Therefore I considered bowling to be harmless. I am walking back from the bathroom to my lane with my friends when I hear this strange thud/smack/did a pumpkin just fall out of the sky onto my head sound and the power went out... in my brain. When I opened my eyes I was greeted by what seemed to be a wet t-shirt contest in my face, but I knew it was all wrong because his shirt was red. Then I could taste it, blood running out of my mouth and down my throat. I pushed him off of me and punched him so hard in the stomach I think I hit his spine. What kind of idiot stands on the carpeted pedestrian area practicing his swing? One of my friends. (Don't worry we aren't friends anymore. Totally different story.) He caught the side of my face with a bowling ball and so nicely knocked my front tooth all out besides a teenie tiny piece. Long story short I am now left with a porcelain tooth that cost more than most nice sets of china. Another long story short, it feels like someone is stabbing the inside of it with a ball point pen. Point of this letter made short, I was never paid for that tooth and I charge interest so I will have the dentist forward you my bill and we will call it even.

Sincerely,
the girl you never paid for her precious lateral incisor

If Only Nails Had The Nutritional Value Of Broccoli

Not only is Nick getting really sick of the fact that I am constantly biting my nails, but I am. On top of it being really gross, it is really really gross. You would think since I hate germs and go into panic attacks if I don't wash my hands within five minutes of eating dinner, I wouldn't have this problem. I swear I was born biting my nails. Well it is time to try and kick this habit again. I posted a while back that I had broken my first ever real nail, I just went down hill from there and started munching on them again like they were cheese sticks. I would like to make a little side note that right now they have the smallest sliver of white on them. This is huge for me because my nails are generally bleeding they are so short. <-- I wrote that part of this post yesterday, I am now two slivers of white down... Anyway, I don't just do it when I am nervous, I do it while driving, working, reading, watching TV, laying in bed trying to sleep. I had a doctor that suggested I wear gloves ALL. THE. TIME. Who wants to bet me twenty bucks that I would chew right through them? Well I now have a motivator and it is really surprising what it is. After years of chipping off nasty nail polish so I could get to my nails without a bitter taste, my mom threatening to rub them in dog poop, and Nick being the nail police, I am going to make a better effort. You know why? Because Nick told me once I grow out my nails, I can paint walls in my house. Why is this such a motivator? Because I absolutely loathe white walls. I hate them more than wet jeans, cupcakes without frosting, and reading that something contains wheat, combined. Not only do they not feel welcoming or home-y but it is so bright. After three years in a basement apartment and three in an office with no windows, you become accustomed to the dark. I now get terrible headaches when it is bright out because my eyes haven't seen the light of day in months, this is also the cause of my albino like appearance. Back to the point, the light just bounces right off all the white walls and straight into my retinas and this and my hatred for white walls combined are just the motivator I need. So look out white walls, me and my nail-less nasty man hands are about to become your worst nightmare. Someone get me some gloves.