Obvious Depth Perception Issues.

I know for a fact that I am not the only person that does this, but I manage to do it so gracefully that it is now an art. For some reason my body loves to think that it is on the last step of the stairs and for some strange reason when it realizes that it isn't, it decides that falling flat on the floor is the best possible solution. I used to do this all of the time going down the stairs to my apartment because there were only four steps, it is easy to confuse yourself on a short flight of stairs. Luckily for me, it would just end with me slamming into the back door and receiving a decent sized bruise. Nothing too dramatic. I think that there was only one time that it ended in me being face to face with the cement and dried leaves that had blown into the little landing. I was wearing four inch heels and had no chance of catching my unexpected body weight on my left foot. As a matter of fact, there is only one person that I would ever guess could do that and it is because she lives in heels. Yes, I am convinced Sarah could have stayed standing. Anyway, on Sunday I had the worst stair missing experience, I was taking Shelbie downstairs to go to the bathroom and out of no where went tumbling into the unknown, hitting the bottom step and ending on the cold hard tile. How I didn't break something I don't know. I was trying to figure out what happened besides the obvious of a grown woman falling down the stairs for no reason other than she just wasn't paying attention. I realized that I remembered seeing the window fly past me as I was swan diving into the tile so I went into CSI mode and found what step had strange markings to show exactly what step I was on when I thought I was at the bottom. No big deal, just four steps up. I have officially just crossed over into the poor depth perception club.

The Newest Member of the Fankhauser Family

This is Bosch, she hails from Orem, was sired by Bosch Kitchen Center and has an extremely impressive pedigree. That is right, this baby is pure bread. Ok I am done talking about my mixer like it is a pure bread dog sired from nothing but the finest of the breed. However there are some people that believe that about a Bosch, yes you gma D and Mrs. Kay. I can see it now, like a scene out of The West Side Story, the Kitchen-Aid crew facing off with the Bosch crew, snapping and creeping toward each other wielding spatulas and cookie paddles, rattling off the best bread recipes in their frilly flour covered aprons. I have a feeling that I will spend most of my time after work standing over this mixer and trying to come up with the best bread substitutions known to man. Will this new addition bring neglect to Nick? The answer is no, he is busy slaving away in college, packing his brain with information about Utah's diversity and criminal studies. What about Shelbie? Shelbie doesn't have anything to worry about, she isn't being replaced. However, I would almost a mixer share the bed with Nick and I seeing that it doesn't have four spasmatic limbs that whack us in the face like 2X4's all night long, long hair to inhale during a peaceful nights sleep, or an undying need for your undivided constant attention in the middle of a good dream. But who can resist this face?

Thievery

When I didn't want to blog about the things I have to blog about because the usual stretched truth might turn into something stretched so far that the National Enquirer beats down my door asking about Shelbie and her ability to speak ten sentences in pig Latin, I decided to steal a quick blogging idea off of Megan and BreeAnn's blog. It is a list of 100 things that one loves so I give you 25 things that I love in no particular order because 100 is just too many for me to think about...

1- Nick. Always surprising me lately and I love it. And he plays a mean Joseph if anyone would like to borrow him for your ward's nativity.

2- Shelbie Patricia Dawn Scooter Boots with the Fur Sprinkle Bottom Baggy Sweat Pants Reebok's with the Straps Toaster Strudel Dragon Chest Friendship Head Chocolate Pudding Cup Graham Cracker Skeeter Scooter Bear... Fankhauser.

3- New socks. I would almost do anything for new socks, even eat a plate of broccoli and iron my clothes.

4- Chapstick. Couldn't live without it. Literally. I tried and my lips all but fell off.

5- My pink Christmas tree. It helps get me excited for Christmas before December 24th.

6- My Dad and all of his silly little sounds and dad humor jokes. Also, that he quotes inappropriate lines from the Nutty Professor and Throw Mama From the Train at random times.

7- My Mom and all of her generosity. Also, she is always up for doing things that us kids come up with, except for the time Mitchell tried to convince her to go for a ride in the garbage can.


8- New shoes. There is just something about having yet another pair of shoes to lay around the house and trip over that I love. (If Nick had a dislike list, this would be almost at the top. It would sit under "When Amanda doesn't clean off the stove.")


9- My sisters and sister-in-laws. They are all so different and I love that, our family has such a wide range of personality, talent and humor. My sisters are always so much fun.


10- My brother and brother-in-laws. I just saw a photo album of Mitch on facebook that had him in his white undershirt and a pair of one of his girlfriends zebra striped spankies. I laughed after I threw up.


11- The movie The Labyrinth. No explanation needed.


12- When I go a day without completely smashing some part of my body on a railing, door frame or random object reaching out to grab me. These days are rare.


13- Pumpkin pie. My mouth is watering at the thought of it. Up until I was 12, I only ate chocolate satin pie because everything else looked repulsive. I remember thinking how gross pumpkin pie sounded but once I tasted it, by force, I couldn't get enough.


14- Cereal. There is nothing better than a bowl full of cereal. Maybe a bowl full of Winger's sticky fingers, but not likely.


15- Singing as loudly and annoyingly as I want in the car while dancing around so terribly that everyone stares. Nick might think he has seen it all but he hasn't. I wouldn't embarrass him like that. Just imagine a fish being tased while trying to drive the car.

16- Harmon's Grocery store. I no longer feel like I am in the Grocery Cart Indie 500 and everyone is throwing elbows and trampling me after I try to help up a set of triplets and their grandma after I so rudely ran them over when I was rear-ended by an aggressive child driven cart.

17- Bubble gum, I am a sucker for tasty gum.

18- Making music videos. Especially when they include Mitchell in drag doing a mean Lady Gaga.

19- Dipping a junior bacon cheeseburger in my frosty because it makes eating it without the bun that much better.

20- Being able to run more than one lap around the track. I used to run around once, lay on the ground, put up a speed bump sign and die.

21- My mother-in-law and her gift of making the most delicious cinnamon rolls in the universe.

22- My father-in-law and his patience to cut thousands of wood blocks so that his daughters can craft. Also, his talent of installing a water softener so that his sad dry skinned flake of a daughter in law no longer has to peel away into a pile of whiny dry skin cells.

23- A water softener. See above. Without a water softener it is like someone hooks up a vacuum that molds to my body and sucks ever drop of moisture right out before stomping on my toe and telling me to catch it if I can.

24- Pens that don't die on me in the middle of filling out a bank drive through slip. Also, days that I remember to put the little transporter tube back in the slot where it belongs. There is nothing worse than being late, two blocks away from the bank and realizing that tube number five is sitting nice and cozy in your passenger seat. Oh wait there is, it is the moment when you have to walk into the bank and give it back.

25- Having the life I have.